True Living with Authentic Intention

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Aligning Self

 

-By Angel True

It can feel like a lot of work to pay attention to all the things that are important in your life, sometimes. You have to remember your job, your kids, cleaning the house, taking care of your health, giving enough attention to those you love, managing the bills, shopping for groceries, calling your parents, spending time with friends, getting enough attention for yourself…and the list goes on and on and on!

What can be most challenging in managing all this attention is holding your actions and choices in alignment with what is important to you. As life gets full and over full it can be easy to take short cuts or make choices that aren't fully in support of your desires and values. Sometimes taking the "easy way out" can feel like a relief for a moment. Then, sometimes a moment or a while later you realize that the "easy way" is actually much more difficult or far less desirable then you first imagined.

As Mark Twain once said "Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said." Following your values can kind of be like honesty. The reality is that you already know what's important to you but sometimes get weighed down by the frenzy of life. Taking these shortcuts with your values can lead to results you don't want though.

When you compromise your values you create an opportunity for a larger impact. These values can be compromised in little ways such as telling your kids "because I said so" rather than giving them a concrete reason simply because you are tired, telling a friend you like their new boyfriend or girlfriend when really you don't care for them or telling your boss you have a project almost finished when you haven't even started. When you make compromises such as these you present opportunities for others to doubt your honesty or use a negative image as a role model. When this happens you might find yourself fostering behavior in others that is even more contrary to your values then these small compromises.

Next time you think you might be taking a shortcut on your values, ethics or spiritual philosophy try this exercise.

1. On the left side of a piece of paper make a list of the 5 things that are most important to you (i.e. kids, home, job, reputation, etc.)
2. On the right side of the paper make a list of your top 5 values (i.e. trust, focus, frankness, generosity, sharing, etc.)
3. For each of the items in the "important" list draw a line to two of the items in the "values" list that are most connected.
4. Now review the lists and identify 2 relevant actions you can take that would support these values.
5. Assess your current or recent actions against these value supporting actions.

When you compare this the list of important subjects, important values and relevant actions to how you are currently making choices and determining actions you may find some discrepancy. This is an opportunity to reassess and make the changes indicated from your list. Some discrepancies may seem small, but in the issue of aligning values with actions every difference is important. Though one or two counter examples of actions not aligning with values might not be sufficient to cause a problem it may be enough to create doubt for some.

The process of aligning yourself with your values is not something that is done when convenient or easy - but always. By holding your values to your actions at all times you project a clear and obvious description of what is important to you in your life. By maintaining this commitment you eliminate, as Mark Twain suggests, the necessity to remember anything different.

After all, what else is alignment of yourself if not a complete commitment to what is most important for you?

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